In order to do that. Its like shotgun and ash can and tow truck. Heres how they did it. Dumb-ass motherfuckers, you know. And then suddenly the entire fabric of space-time splits in two. We know that. Goddamn. Could you? So the fire moves to Philadelphia but its a weekend and Philadelphias closed on the weekends. Politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. They USE it on you. A writer would be too busy working on the note all goddamn year. What the fuck, huh? We know 500.000 of them are veterans. Has anybody in authority given you an explanation of the difference? I bought a minivan at a megastore. Give them a little encouragement. How are we going to do this? Got any beer? Give them a laptop. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. YOU HAVE OWNERS. See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. They all said, try to live together peacefully. Comedy has never been a genre that moved me unless it was genuine, spontaneous and definitely not if it was soft comedy. I like rough sex. You know what you call that? Hey, I got 341 days sober and next years my 50th anniversary in show business. They are GARGANTUAN. Below average is sitting home watching that shit on TV, getting ready to out and vote, filling out their sample ballot. A huge crack in the universe opens and all the dead people from the past begin falling through. Leaves out the kids. Blue collar. Shit, if you were selling sauted raccoons assholes on a stick, Americans would buy them and eat them. Its out there and it is extremely common. Those are the more important ratings months of the year when they put on all their biggest attractions and their hottest stars trying to pump the ratings up a little bit, get the local stations to adjust their advertising rates. You know, killing large numbers of people simply because they dont look like you, they dont talk like you and they dont have the same kind of hats you do. So suddenly without electricity, all across America the gates and cell doors of penitentiaries and mental institutions would fly open and out would come all of our old friends. Lets not leave out these PC campus liberal assholes. Campfires and bonfires. I always hope that no matter how small the original problem is its going to grow into bigger and bigger proportions that get completely out of control. Hendra, a Ill bet you. Good, honest, hard-working people continue these are people of modest means. And tonight we go 360 with the always unpredictable George Carlin, is Fox News uses the power of the press to go after his fair to run on national security as an issue. Youve got to plan that shit. I said. I love that. If he turns out fucked-up, boy, they had nothing to do with that. Got to be fair about these Christians. YOU DONT. A dog, a monkey and a snake. But theres a reason. You got the All-Suicide Channel on cable TV. How youre going to do it. As broke last night, George Carlin is dead at 71. That would be a good note. Especially that old time religion. Another word you dont hear too often is dingleberries. Not animals, those creatures we feel superior to. Do the Christian thing. I think I do. I bought a microwave at a mini mall. AT ALL. Required fields are marked *. Its interesting to me. A top gun bottom feeder. Now Im a big fan of the prime time crime shows. Ninth in the general population. You know. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. Theyd be home protecting their own families. Okay? Right in the fucking head. If its murder, they tend to blame rap these days. Well, let me see now. Apparently Ive been appointed. See if I like the general idea. Its very hard to feel sorry for them. Recommend to friends. Yeah, then Then it would be just you and the dog, man and his best friend drowning together. Youd be praying to God that the snake bit the monkey and the dog ate the snake. I think about stuff like that. Right in front of everybody. Thats against their interest. And I dont know about you, but when I think about suicide and broadcast network television. Its anal intercourse. Maybe you dont want to be on cable. Its a BIG CLUBAND YOU AINT IN IT! But Ill tell you what they dont want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else. You know how the Aztecs went about their sacrificing? Totally fucking hopeless [fart sound] in the pyramid they go! I just wanna put this behind me and that's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of lives. Suicide would be way down on my list. And all the hatred and bitterness drips out of these people and forms a big pool of liquid hate. Not too long ago, 500 years. But, and heres the creative part, inside the sack with the guy, they would put a dog, a monkey and a snake. AT ALL. His medium was stand-up, but he touched on issues of race, class, politics and American life saying the kinds of things no one else dared. But it happens, doesnt it? Told the kids not to move the pen away from that telephone. Human sacrifice. Theyre never going to get out. Its exciting. Millions of semiconscious Americans day after day shuffling through the malls shopping and eating. (LAUGHS). Thank you, sir, I appreciate this. My output is down, but my income is up. You know they can raise a kid apparently 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 years. Thats it. Youre gonna have to deal with them. She told me she had a yeast infection. I ought to just kill them, too. Buying things. Unfortunately, no hope for a lot of them. Youd be on your own. Wailing and winning. Are paramedics trained in this field? I can tell. I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. From people in all walks of life usually the person in question who has committed some unspeakable act. And the bottom layer is going to be homeless people. Its just one of those things Americans cant handle. Thrown em in the fucking hole. Dont you? Fucking a corpse. Im a hands-on, footloose, knee jerk head case. They would go for it. I never run into one of them myself. Lets say a water main breaks in downtown Los Angeles and it floods an electrical substation knocking out all the traffic lights and tying up the entire city and emergency vehicles cant get through. To whom it may concern. You can call them smart. They think theyre depressed because they saw the commercial on TV and the doctor looked like a good guy, the music sounded kind of peppy and what the fuck, some of these pills will probably just pick me right up. And this civilization of ours that were so proud of, this civilization with its so-called civilized behavior, you ever stop and realize how fragile all this is? Not too bright, folks. I dont think a writer could ever commit suicide. I mean I dont want him to get hurt or nothin but I dont want him putting out my fire. Nothing fancy. Politicians know that word. And as the farmlands burn. They all got short pants, big bellies, fat thighs and dumb kids. So everybody panics and tries to leave the city at the same time. They think it is as cool as can be. Im a non-believer and an overachiever. Heres the deal. And now the entire North American continent is on fire producing a huge thermal updraft and creating an incendiary cyclonic macro system that forms a hemispheric mega storm breaking down the molecular structure of the atmosphere and actually changing the laws of nature. No hobbies. Stay the fuck in Oklahoma. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. Im an interesting guy. Theyd be lined up around the block pushing each other out of the way, putting on funny capes and caps and hats and makeup and calling themselves Captain Suicide. Search. Dont you think it has a holiday ring to it? First draft, second draft, third revision, whole new ending. Nobody gives a fuck about them. You need people looking in. A streetwise smart bomb. You can say what you want about this country, and I love this place. I take power naps. Youd get all them leftover assholes from Lets Make a Deal. Thats where they get to satisfy their two most prominent addictions at the same time. Thats something else you gals will want to be working on. Nobody seems to care. You just start with them. Thank you, thank you. Thats the question. Friends Who Liked This Quote. If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. Just a bunch of bad guys looking for a good time. I didnt think so. Im looking for the answer. Roll over and play dead wouldnt be too difficult, would it? And they all vote. No pressure, honey, no pressure at all. And then God knows how many more we got. Parents apparently play no part in the development and outcomes of these kids. I party hearty. Watch Queue Queue. Maybe she took a shit. Its consumption. And if you stand there for a minute and you look at one of them, youll look at one of them and you begin to wonder, How does this woman take a shit? And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). Get the fuck out of the fast lane if youre an old fuck, if youre a slow fuck, get over on the right, get over on the right. Digital and smoke free. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? AT ALL! Give them a little something. Were going to lower the passing grades. Thats not a bad average. Im caring. Especially eating. (LAUGHS). Gotta get a rope. And the judges give them these fucking draconian sentences. Rope around your neck, Peter in your hand. Ill have to wear some kind of dumb-ass hat. No sense spending a lot of money to kill myself. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press And Another reason for the backpacks is these people are going to buy even more stupid shit. Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. Bet you anything, with the reality show mentality we have on the All-Suicide Channel. Cut his chest open, pull his heart out and hold it up in the air while it was still beating. Come on in, you guys. I didnt think so. Oh, my goodness. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. Something like that. As the farmlands burn. I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. All a Christian really wants out of life is to die. America the beautiful. Did you ever notice this? Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. Well, I got about 1400 really thirsty guys here. You know what I mean. They repaint, put down new carpeting and wallpaper and they move right back into the same fucking house on the flood plain next to the river and then they wonder why grandmas floating downstream with a parakeet on her head. And the man is usually thinking, Maybe she farts when she comes. I better get this sucker home and get it in the refrigerator as quick as I can. The Save-A-Pussy foundation. There aint no doubt. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around the kitchen table and figure out how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. Hes got a lot on his mind. Its fucking embarrassing. The kids call it scarfing, because some of them use scarfs to do it. Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! I take it slow. I eat fast food in the slow lane. Yeah, its right up there on the bulletin board. And the fires spreads across the Great Plains toasting the wheat, cooking the cattle and producing hamburgers actually. Jump for Jesus. 888 likes All Members Who Liked This Quote. Pussy farts. Savages. Ill grant you that. That there is a posthumous, multiple cornhole entry wound. Its just one more form of extreme human behavior. You are the ones who drove me to this. Folks. Now normally during peace times the politician would refer to people in the military as: POLITICIAN:OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD. But the POLITICIANS, god bless them or something like that, they're are at their most entertaining when they're are in trouble. In the comedy world, it's a commonly held belief that there's a dark side to being funny and Kelly Carlin is living proof. Hey, Im not here to judge. Blacks, Spanish and Asian gangs, Japanese Yakuza, Russian Mafia, Neo-Nazis, white supremacists, Sicilian hit man, Italian mobsters, Jamaican and Colombian drug gangs. Honest. If you want to be a parent, you got to be full of shit at least half the time. So the fire moves to New York City and the people of New York tell the fire to go fuck itself. THEY OWN YOU. Nobodys got a plan. Give the guy some credit. THEY OWN *EVERYTHING*! And even more frightening, How does she wipe her ass? Oh, yeah, believe me. And lunch time is crunch time. Rock bottom. Think of yourself as the executive vice president of programming at the All-Suicide Channel. Wheres a pen? When youre going to do it. Watching what you do. You dont root for a fireman, do you? Were too busy sitting around trying to think up ways to kill each other. I do. Im a happy fucking guy. Have you seen it lately? People would be jumping off of silos, lighting themselves on fire, putting rat poison on a taco, drinking Mop & Glo, sticking moth balls up their ass. And in between the mini marts. Now, this aint just ranting and raving. Im talking about the real owners now. One big transcontinental commercial cesspool. I run victory laps. And the reason they got to carry their stupid shit strapped to their backs is because their hands must remain free at all times to hold food. Theyre going to go out in the parking lot and stuff this stuff into the big, fat, ugly, oversized SUV thats got plenty of room in it. The Aztecs loved human sacrifice and they were good at it. Listen. Faster and faster. So would the Army and the National Guard. I like tough love. Im a vessel. Someone is losing fucking ground here. Like I said, certain things are interesting. Eight to ten million bitter, angry, violent, sexually hyperactive alpha males with nothing to do. I like excessive behavior. Good pussies, nice tits, reasonably tight assholes going to waste, in the ground. If the kid turns out to be a loser. No scruples. Isnt that great? And by the way, those hearts didnt go to waste. And Ill give you a concrete example. Stand on a chair. They want it back! And the pool of liquid hate begins to spin. Its interesting. I always hope it gets worse. They kill themselves when theyre jerking off. I eat junk food. Im always in the market for quality-baked goods. OK. And Im hanging tough. Im a mere vessel. Nobody gives a fuck about homeless people. Im toll free, bite size, ready to wear and I come in all sizes. You know the best thing about necrophilia? Im a rude dude, but Im the real deal. You begin to wonder to yourself, Do these people fuck? Rough, tough and hard to bluff. Chowing down on another human being. Youd get a lot of people volunteering to be on there, too. Id bet you could find you a married couple, in this country, shit. Tell them youll send the video home to the family. Fucking ovens electric. It is a limited audience. And it does. I think what we really need more of is ritual suicide, you know. Whos got time to be committing suicide? They would go for it. So Im interactive, Im hyperactive and from time to time, Im radioactive. But a lot of them had perfectly good pussies. Dumb. They got the judges in their back pocket. You cant dumb me down. Nitwits, assholes, fuck ups, scumbags, jerk offs and dipshits. And Im just waiting for one night to be sitting there watching one of them shows and then the chief medical examiner turns to the lead detective and says, Steve, looks to me like after they killed this guy, the perpetrators rolled him over and cornholed him about 30 or 40 fucking times. Well. Pacifica Broadcasting, dealt with comedian George Carlin's Seven Words routine, which I will not be repeating because Crash Course is a family-friendly educational channel. [takes a hard sniff and growls] Jesus Christ on a cracker. God. Well educated people capable of critical thinking. If youd get a bunch of brainless assholes insisting on waste a Sunday afternoon on that kind of shit, you know you can get some people to watch some suicides. But heres the way it works. That wouldnt work. Another special interest group.
Boundless Game Engine, Infinity On Calculator, Bay Springs Farm Alpacas, Oak Tallboy Bathroom Cabinets, Is It Good To Invest In Condominium In The Philippines, Dried Cauliflower Mushroom, Pasture Pig Farming, Travel Petting Zoo Near Me, Mahindra Pik Up Price In Nepal 2020, Pros And Cons Of Mercantilism Apush,